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Continuing our trend of talking about video game characters we’re hornt for, today we walk through the Final Fantasy VII franchise—including 2005’s Advent Children. Tune in for a long-winded discussion about team mom Tifa, hot mess Cloud Strife, and a knock-down, drag-out brawl over Sephiroth’s pirate shirt. Yes, really. 

On today’s episode, Lady Valkyrie AKA Mariet wanders into our lair to discuss the hit Netflix series ‘Castlevania’ and its video game origins. This series puts a stake through our fangirl hearts with its portrayals of crying softbois, undying love and men in too-tight leather pants. We’re not always hot for vampires, but when we are, it’s vamps with flowing locks and estranged relationships with their fathers (no, we’re not just talking about the church).

Labyrinth Sarah Ball Gown

The lady with all the wikis, Rachael of Scavenger’s Hoard, joins us to discuss the cult classic ‘Labyrinth.’ We talk about its madcap production history, the importance of this story to our own development, and our appreciation for Jim Henson/George Lucas. Bonus content: join us as we dive deep into the Old Internet to explore the ancient website “David Bowie’s Area.” Yes, it’s still up. Yes, we linked it.

Metamashina Episode 36 The Last Unicorn

Better later than never forever: On today’s episode Erin introduces us to the fantasy classic ‘The Last Unicorn.’ We identify with Molly Grue far too much, and talk about the transition from childhood to adult concerns. Also featured: a deep dive into the symbolism of Beagle’s original text, along with lots of love for rosy-cheeked skeletons and unicorn ladies.

We unearth 2009’s ‘Jennifer’s Body’ to examine its feminist legacy and failures, and have an in-depth discussion on the objectification of women’s trauma through multiple media sources. A decade later we’re still reclaiming the word “salty” to mean beautiful (thanks, Diablo Cody).

CW: Discussions of self-harm, sexual violence, and emo rock’s history of women’s exploitation.

Who’s a Daddy? The only correct answer lies in the 90’s cartoon ‘Gargoyles.’ Return guest Chelsea (@corseque on Tumblr and @northgalis on Twitter) helps us with the obvious answer as we celebrate the most formative of monster kinks.

Bat-wings, Shakespearian drama, genetic-tech, and global folklore abound in this amazing show that deserves all the accolades it gets.

Kirsty of Scavenger’s Hoard returns to the show, where we discuss Elizabeth Gaskell’s Victorian social novel ‘North and South.’

Beta-read by Charles Dickens, this novel and its 2006 BBC adaptation prompt a full-blown discussion of unions, worker’s rights, and Richard Armitage’s furrowed brow. Join us in waxing poetic on these class-crossed lovers.

What’s better than ranting about Pandora for two hours? Reminiscing about the Earth’s eventual demise (and our exposure to it) thanks to a children’s movie!

The harpies take a trip back in time to discuss the environmental message of ‘FernGully’ and its overhyped male-gaze remake, ‘Avatar,’ with a focus on ecological preservation and a generous disdain for the white saviour narrative.

It’s 2019 and the world is a dystopian nightmare defined by capitalistic decay and the struggle to empathize with one’s fellow man (and woman). Join us in the future we already know, just less cool looking, as we talk about ‘Blade Runner’ and our frustration with ‘Blade Runner 2049’ from the perspective of a feminine audience.

Spoiler Alert: Nat gets drunk on wine and Shi does her best robot impersonation yet.

Nuttiness ensues as we talk the lore of E.T.A. Hoffman’s THE NUTCRACKER and its subsequent ballet, film, and book adaptations. We also take a trip to the technopunk fairyland of Claire Legrand’s 2014 YA novel WINTERSPELL.

Be prepared for hero-villain romances, Drosselmeyer wank, Rat King thirst, and bisexual rep done right, as we settle in for the holidays.