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Who needs true love’s first kiss when you can have a goth fairy godmother? Today – for our 20th episode! – we’re joined by Shannon of Network 1901 and Dale of the Disney Culture Club to discuss the original 1950’s Disney Sleeping Beauty and its cultural context, as well as 2014’s retelling Maleficent! (Yes, we’re all pining for a shape-changing crow companion.)

*Content Warning: EXTREMELY saucy elf fantasies ahead*

And thus the girls of Metamashina, thirsty beyond measure, descended to Arda to take their leisure of the Noldor and the Sindar, only to be seduced by the wickedly sensual Sauron. In our deconstruction of the Silmarillion, Tolkien’s most academic work collects dust while we try to determine which of Feanor’s sons is the most f**kable. Looking for a canonical deconstruction full of footnotes? This is not the place. We Harpies aim to break all the rules.

In the second half of our Cyberpunk meltdown, guest Cait (commandercait) and the crew go hardcore on the Matrix sequels Reloaded and Revolutions, and how the story ended up drowning in dated tropes and lowered stakes. Cait talks about conquering The Matrix Online, we have our trench coat trash genre recs, and everyone discusses how the Twins are acceptable sandwich material.

In this robot edgelord dystopia, those with the most cool-looking indoor sunglasses wins. For Part I on our exploration into the Matrix franchise, we’re joined by Cait (@commandercait) as we explore the original film written and directed by Lilly and Lana Wachowski. Also featured: commentary on the supplemental series The Animatrix,  wank on late 90’s/early 00’s cybergoth fashion, themes of identity both on and offline, and an extended bit on falconry.

Over-the-top badass motherfucker Richard D. Riddick didn’t deserve his character’s eventual destruction through toxic masculinity, but we still love this bald, monster-fighting criminal. On today’s episode we chat with “real life” guest Libby on why the first two movies of the franchise worked, and why the third should be immolated on Crematoria. Also, we all get thirsty over Vaako. Can you blame us? 

Tree-stars unite a myriad of long-dead animals in our beloved Land Before Time series, AKA the best dinosaur drama ever. Welcome to the era of Pizza Hut commercials, Don Bluth’s brave stand against 90s direct-to-video marketing, and the dead age of Disney animation. We’ll be defending Cera’s fight against Republican ideology and the truly fucked up nature of gated communities, along with the insidious politics of neoliberal creep and the injustice of economic scarcity. 

The tale as old as time but timeless to us all. With special guest Chelsea (@corseque), we embark on a deep analysis into Beauty and the Beast, following it from its origins in Greek myth and 18th French Salons to its modern day film and literary adaptations. Prepare for lots of love for the monster husband trope and how these stories are subversive female power fantasies. Also, too many mentions of horns, scales, and fur to count.