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They’re beauty, they’re grace, they’ll hiss in your face. This week we’re talking about Tchaikovsky’s ballet Swan Lake and its animated adaptations: 1981’s anime LSD nightmare Swan Lake and 1994’s The Swan Princess. Join us as we lament bowl cuts, ear hair, thigh high boots, and other thirst killers.

The creeping horror of knowing something is moving towards you, inescapable and unrelenting in its pursuit is . . . student debt? This week we scared the living daylights out of ourselves by relating It Follows to late-stage capitalism, vaporwave, and classic literature. We also unpack the deeply feminine fear of being taken advantage of by a trusted partner, and why the prototypical nice guy *should* finish last. Content warning: this episode contains in-depth discussions of sexual assault.

Self-indulgence means taking a moment to cover a highly recced movie (both by us and our followers): the Russian 2015 film ‘On Drakon.’ This film smashes all the Metamashina buttons: monster husbands, inescapable female gaze, overcoming generational trauma, and medieval Russian wastelands. We reiterate our favorite points of these tropes as well as exploring the Bad Dragon website for a newfound monster kink . . . And a bonus rant about US healthcare.

In the year 2k18 it’s high time that the monster gets the girl. This week we’re joined by Lunaplath to discuss one of the most niche of monster kinks, along with the most endearing: 1954’s The Creature from the Black Lagoon and del Toro’s love letter to it, The Shape of Water. Everyone grab your favourite floatation device and let’s go swimming. Apologies in advance for some audio artefacts — got a bit rough in spots!

Who needs true love’s first kiss when you can have a goth fairy godmother? Today – for our 20th episode! – we’re joined by Shannon of Network 1901 and Dale of the Disney Culture Club to discuss the original 1950’s Disney Sleeping Beauty and its cultural context, as well as 2014’s retelling Maleficent! (Yes, we’re all pining for a shape-changing crow companion.)

*Content Warning: EXTREMELY saucy elf fantasies ahead*

And thus the girls of Metamashina, thirsty beyond measure, descended to Arda to take their leisure of the Noldor and the Sindar, only to be seduced by the wickedly sensual Sauron. In our deconstruction of the Silmarillion, Tolkien’s most academic work collects dust while we try to determine which of Feanor’s sons is the most f**kable. Looking for a canonical deconstruction full of footnotes? This is not the place. We Harpies aim to break all the rules.

In the second half of our Cyberpunk meltdown, guest Cait (commandercait) and the crew go hardcore on the Matrix sequels Reloaded and Revolutions, and how the story ended up drowning in dated tropes and lowered stakes. Cait talks about conquering The Matrix Online, we have our trench coat trash genre recs, and everyone discusses how the Twins are acceptable sandwich material.