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*Content Warning: EXTREMELY saucy elf fantasies ahead*

And thus the girls of Metamashina, thirsty beyond measure, descended to Arda to take their leisure of the Noldor and the Sindar, only to be seduced by the wickedly sensual Sauron.

In our deconstruction of the Silmarillion, Tolkien’s most academic work collects dust while we try to determine which of Feanor’s sons is the most f**kable. Looking for a canonical deconstruction full of footnotes? This is not the place.

READING

• THE SILMARILLION, by J.R.R. Tolkien
• THE FALL OF GONDOLIN, by J.R.R. Tolkien, Christopher Tolkien
• The Absence of Women — Marie Brennan, Swan Tower

RECS

• THE ACTS OF KING ARTHUR AND HIS NOBLE KNIGHTS, by John Steinbeck
• The Graceling Trilogy, by Kristin Cashore

CLOSING SOUNDS

• Poorsyria.wav by vumseplutten1709

LINKS

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Shi/Ohtze

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